10 Reasons I Want to Write (But Don’t)

Let's just be honest, I probably have more than 10...

You all look so good out there I could keep reading forever, but I need to get real: if my writing is ever going to get that good, I’d better get cracking at actually writing. And this is where I run into trouble.

Yes, because my writing won’t ever look like yours, but most importantly because I want to write…and can’t seem to actually do it.

This goes right along with the Adversary I’ve written about previously. We all have things we know we need to do, and about 20 reasons why we often never do them. 10 are detailed below.

It’s a common enough problem among us writers that there are whole groups on social media that joke about it. It’s like a game, and you win when you can tell everyone “Sorry, I actually wrote something today.”

Here are some of my favorite excuses. What are some of yours?

1. I want us both to be happy

…and I’m not always a happy person. I strive to always feel happy, and I want only for my presence to make others feel the same. I know it’s not balanced — nearest I can tell, we’re not actually wired for “eternal sunshine” — but I work for it anyway. It’s an ugly American thing, I know — we look at everyone else like “why so glum chum? Perk up!”

2. I’m not (yet) great at observing myself and my life

I’m getting better with this one, but it’s something I’m beginning to understand as a pretty common issue — we live our lives, full of amazing things and thoughts about them, but we don’t document them, so when we sit to write we draw a blank. Did nothing happen? Of course not: we just didn’t record our observations or our reflections about them, so we’re suddenly empty-headed.

3. I’m full of excuses

I’m too busy. I have work. I have school. I’m tired. I drank too much. I want to watch that show. I want to play that game. I don’t feel good. I’ve been sitting in this chair too long. I need to eat. I want to shop.

4. I only want to write when I’m busy with other things

Does this happen to you? I’m in the middle of something I have to do, and out of nowhere my brain says, “I’ve got it: this!” And I have no ability to do anything about it. I only get my good ideas when I’m on the can or in the shower, or when I’m driving, or when I’m slammed at work — either way, I’m in no place to write an idea down, let alone explore it meaningfully.

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

5. I’m distracted

I keep reaching for my damn phone, or this music is so good/so bad, or my cat is too cute, or my roommates are chatting about something, or I’m wondering why my partner hasn’t texted back, or I remember I haven’t drunk any water in an hour, or…now I need a nap.

6. I’m out of ideas

I tell you one excuse I’m finding my way out of — I don’t have ideas. One of the most wonderful, fulfilling amenities about a multi-roommate arrangement is that these ones are constantly keeping me thinking about life, things, the past, the future, goals, our problems…

7. I have too many ideas

…and they’re all constantly duking it out for supremacy. I can only give so much time and energy to one thing, so when I can’t make up my mind, I do nothing. Or better yet, I distract myself from all of those things, with another thing. To put off doing one thing by going and doing another thing you’ve been putting off: THAT is procrastination at its finest.

8. I’m impatient

I see your Tweet about how successful you are after a year of consistent writing, and it inspires me to write. I go to write, and I might even make it to the Publish button, but my results never look like yours. And that finishes me — I forget what I’m writing for, and I revert to my favorite cardinal sin (envy) and return to wondering how you got to be so successful. I want those results now, and can’t make the cognitive leap as to how THIS will ever look like THAT.

9. I don’t know how to type

This is actually more prohibitive than you might think. I get on a roll typing, and then I look up from my writing and realize I’ve flubbed about 10 of the 100 words I so feverishly just slammed into the word processor. So I have to go back and fix them, and by the time I get back to where I was, I’ve completely forgotten where I was going. This is disruptive of flow, it’s mentally frustrating, and reminds me of everyone I’ve worked with who chided me about my inability to type like they do. F*** them…but still…

10. My mom just died…and I just separated from my husband…and…

These are all very legit and recent blows to my emotional and mental energy. They give things to write about, but while I’m struggling to process them, my brain is mashed potatoes and my ability to process words is simply absent.

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

“Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they’re yours.”

― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

Truth?

I have no interest in hanging onto these disruptions. If you’re a writer, you’ve made up your mind to write, because that is what you are: you are not everything that stands in your way to keep you from your goals. Or perhaps, we are the challenges we face, and the ways we choose to meet them (or not). How do we overcome these issues?

We write. We write even when we’re not inspired. We write whenever we get time. Even if it’s just taking notes — especially when we need to take notes.

We write because we get better at it the more we do it. We write because we absolutely have something to say, and there is someone that absolutely needs to hear it.

We write today because if we don’t, in a year we’ll be wishing we had. And the time will pass anyway.

Do the right thing for yourself today, not tomorrow.

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